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Please, someone tell me, why? WHY!? Why was this amazing show cancelled after only two episodes?! I'll tell you why, that pansy Disney network ABC. ABC moved Clerks farther and farther back until it was into the summer, basicly destroying any hopes of the show surviving. And I thought I had seen the worst after they dropped Dogma (shit was I wrong!). They took what would have easily replaced Simpsons, and any other animated series to be created (Baby Blues, The Family Guy, Dilbert, South Park), and they utterly destroyed it. But Askewers once again all has been saved by Kevin Smith releasing the two aired episodes along with four never before seen ones on DVD and VHS.
Thanks Kevin!
How to Get the Sweet Stuff on This Page:
Alright askewers, so there's a lotta stuff available to buy on this page, so the link below brings you to the Clerks part of Jay and Silent Bob's Secret Stash where you should find everything your money-spending little heart could possibly desire!
Preview of the Show's Episodes
Episode 1: In this first episode, a man named Leonardo Leonardo returns to Leonardo, New Jersey to put the Quick Stop out of business. Thanks to some quick thinking and UPN's The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeifer, Leonardo's plans were thwarted.
Episode 2: This is your typical sitcom flashback episode, with one genius hitch-- they've only had one episode so far! So Dante and Randal get locked in a freezer at the Quick Stop, and are joined shortly after by Jay and Silent Bob. Dante and Randal escape thanks to the crowbar hidden in the infinite space of Silent Bob's Coat, only to be locked into the RST.
Episode 3: Outbreak!!! The good people of Leonardo are threatened when Randal fools the government into believing the deadly motaba virus has broken out in the block of stores. Dante saves the town from liquidation by admitting that he's gay on radio/tv to the pilots of a B-2 bomber, who are moved by his honesty.
Episode 4: The Case of the Century! "Jay" aka the letter "J" vs. Quick Stop Enterprises and Dante Hicks. You heard right askewers, Jay is sueing for $10,000,000 because he slipped on "magic slippery stuff" (orange soda). However, just as we are about to discover the NBA All-Star (they skipped a game at Madison Square Garden) jury's decision, we learn that the rest of the episode was ruined in its trip across sea. Luckily the Korean animaters put on put on a new ending that has nothing to do with the episode in anime, with giant rats, car-driving bears, and Tom Cruise! |
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TRAILER!
Check out the trailer for the show that aired on the superbowl a couple years back:
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Clerks Inaction Figures!
That's right, first class in modern toy making, its Clerks Inaction Figures! With Kung F--, Karat--, Flyin--, Talki--; no wait, they pretty much just stand up. But wow are they ever sweet! Above are the original four and below are special edition gray Dante and Randal, just like the original movie!
Episode 5: Dante is put in charge of Leonardo Leonardo's horendous little league team while Randal is recruited by a secret government agency because he is an ultimate warrior of the digital age....according to the game Pharaoh. But instead of becoming a star-ship pilot like Randal dreamed, he is sent to a slave camp to build pyramids. Dante meanwhile turns his team around by recruiting Jay for his team the oldest and baddest 4th grader to ever live. When the team arrives at the little league world series the find the town childless and learn that all the children were kidnapped. They set off save the kids and find Randal in the save slave camp! Dante's team easily crushes the malnourished starved children.
Episode 6: Coincidentally the episode was named "The Last Episode Ever" because Dante and Randal learn that their show is not popular. They decide to make it like the original movie, and don't leave the store for the rest of the episode no matter what happens outside, and a lot happens. Through this episode a random guy calling Dante and calling him Neo (Matrix reference), Randal threatening Bill Clinton, playing a cannibal Brazilian soccer team, Dante missing a date with Caitlin Bree, and a crazy-ass fair across the street gone bad, Dante keeps his cool. Then he loses it when the final straw gets pulled, his car is scratched. He walks out into a blank screen with Randal, and we learn that Jay was really drawing the whole episode just like Bugs Bunny in that old Chuck Jones cartoon. |
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